ATTENTION MARTIAL ARTISTS!
We all know that at a certain point in our studies of the martial arts, we're supposed to go down to your local police department and register body parts as deadly weapons.
It's a shocker when we find out that such a registry doesn't actually exist.
If you're like me, you can't believe that some of these deadly tough guys in the martial arts world are allowed to just walk around. The danger to the public is astounding!
It's probably due to our politicians being bought and paid for by Big Dojo.
So your pal the Stick Chick is gonna step up and do something about it.
As a service to the public, I will register your deadly body parts for the low price of $19.95 (US) a part.
On a budget? You can just register a right hand, or a left foot. Body parts other than arms and legs are available, but to Ameri-do-te students only.
Once I receive your payment, I'll send you this fabulous certificate that will look just grand posted on the wall of your dojo.
Now we can finally start thinking of the children, and getting all of you incredibly dangerous badasses registered.
Send in your payment TODAY!