Saturday, October 18, 2014

Five Things I Absolutely Hate About Being A Martial Artist

My friend +Andrea Harkins wrote an awesome blog post, 5 Things I Absolutely Hate About The Martial Arts, and it got me to thinking.  Thanks, Andrea!

So here are Five Things I Absolutely Hate About Being a Martial Artist.

1) Fight scenes are ruined for me

I just cannot suspend my disbelief to just sit back and enjoy awesome movie and television fight scenes the way I could before I set foot on the mat.  I spot the openings, I can see where it's all choreographed, I get especially annoyed with sword fights (they aim for the weapon, not the person - ARGH!), and I end up sputtering and muttering during the whole thing.

At the Cobra Kai dojo, they teach you to lead with the face.

2) Having to explain the bruises

I bruise pretty easy, so it's a very common occurrence for me to have a lot of black and blue marks up and down my arms the next day after class.  When people at work or other places while I'm out and about spot it, they...  look at me funny.

You shoulda seen the other guy.  (He looks perfectly fine.)

3) "I bet you could kick my ass" and other commentary from non-martial artists

This must be universal, as I have heard other people complain about this.  When non-martial artists find out what you do for fun, the comment is inevitably something like, "I better not piss you off!" or "I bet you could kick my ass" or even "Do you think you could kick MY ass?" or whatnot.

I am completely disinterested in your ass, much less, kicking it.

I have PLENTY of bubble gum, thank you.
4) Never having enough sports bras or socks.

I  have more sports bras than the day of the week and enough pairs of socks to outfit a football team. I always have to hunt for a clean bra and a pair of socks (I wear mat shoes, because ever had a fast-moving stick hit your toe?) when getting ready for class, no matter what.  Underpants gnomes?  Children taking my stuff?  I have no idea.  Just wish I could open the drawer and get what I need instead of running around in a panic every time I put on a gi.

I've contemplated it. Image found here.
5)  Not enough people to geek out about it with

Given that the martial arts population is relatively small, the likelihood of finding friends or coworkers outside of your own school that like the martial arts and are willing to geek out about it is pretty darn slim.  I got lucky at my job (my guest blogger Troy works with me) but honestly, that's one of the reasons I write this blog - to geek out with all of you!

Let's discuss all the ways we can use this in a fight.

So, what are some things that drive you nuts about being a martial artist?  I want to know!